OPERATION SUE: KYOKO
by the Unrequited Lover
Summary: Kyoko wants to be a Mary Sue. So she inserts herself into Harry Potter's sixth year and gets- ignored! That's not supposed to happen! (will be doing other Sue parodies at some point but I've been lazy.)


I guess I had always been popular...and well-liked. God. I hated it to no end.

So, I wanted to get everyone to hate me...really! I went gothic and fetishist and acted like Buttercup from the Powerpuff Girls as though she was in high school, but then everyone liked me even more.

I was so furious. It was terrible. How, I wondered, could I get what I wanted?

I found out while checking out the links in a role playing group on Yahoo. It was something called the Mary Sue Eradication Force. I was fascinated. I looked at it and knew; I would become a Mary Sue.

People loved me! I hated it! So I could go somewhere where people hate girls that everyone loves!

I discovered it with ease: Fan Fiction dot Net.

I don't exactly know how, something to do with Digimon, season two, but I got myself inserted into the internet, where I manifested the Harry Potter world. I skipped back in time a few years and placed the Sorting Hat on my head and I became a....well, it was going to put me into Ravenclaw, but I said, "I have got be in either Slytherin or Gryffindor!" Because no Mary Sue ever got into Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, and so it put me into Slytherin.

Then I fast forwarded a few years, as most Sue's lay dormant for years and then all of a sudden dazzle and sparkle and come into focus- and knock all the cute guys canon's focuses out of the way- way later in time.

I couldn't use my own name, Siobhan Johnson, because it wasn't nearly Sue-ish enough. So I spent two days thinking and finally thought: Kyoko Leiko. In Japanese, Kyoko means "Mirror" and "Leiko" Arrogant. I thought about using "Toshi" for a while but that just means "Mirror Image."

So one day I waltz into Potions and everyone just stares at me like they''ve never seen me before- and they probably haven't, because I haven't been here since the Sorting- and sit down in the back of the room.

I'm a Sue, so I probably should sit next to some hot canon guy, but I'm also shy, so I don't. Snape stares at me peculiarly, then turns to the class and starts talking about homework.

I busy myself doodling on a sheet of parchment lazily, uncomfortable. Why isn't he asking me anything? Am I not Sue-ish enough?

All class, he doesn't do anything but talk and pick on Harry, Neville, Ron and Hermione, who he really hates. She looks really mad at this point.

After class he calls me up front.

"Kyoko," he begins when we are alone. I stand up straight and hold my head high, and he continues, "I noticed you didn't do your homework today. Is something wrong?"

I blink. Say what? Snape cares if there's something wrong? What the hell is wrong-

Wait. I'm a Mary Sue.

I want him to care.

"Oh, no, Professor," I say sweetly, and toss my hair over my shoulder.

"Then you have detention," he says, not looking at me. My jaw drops. "You're dismissed."

I stare, then turn and slowly walk out. I'm a Mary Sue! How dare he?!

As I storm around in the hallway, I realise that I have no clue as to where I am going.

"Maybe this whole 'come in for the first time' thing wasn't so great," I think uneasily. "How do those other Sue's do it?"

I feel someone tap me on my shoulder. I turn around, startled.

It's Draco Malfoy. I'm about to crawl away and say, "Don't hurt me!" when I remember my Sue-ish charms. Getting relentlessly tormented by Snape may not be fun, but it is a sign of Sue-ism.

"Oh, hey, Draco," I say in an offhand tone of voice. "What is it you want?"

I hold my breath. He's checking me out, I think...

"Yeah, Kyoko," he says, "the common room is this way."

I stare, frozen, then laugh. "Oh, yeah," I say nervously. "I'm going the wrong direction!"

He nods, looking at me strangely.

I follow him down the corridor until we get to the portrait and he says the password, which is 'Deadly Nightshade."

Not hard to imagine, nightshade was almost my last name.

I walked into the common room as though it were a runway, thinking, stare at me in awe, people of Hogwarts, I'm a Mary Sue.

No one looks up. I sigh and go into the girl's dormitories until detention, which I serve quietly. Snape does not confess undying love for me (thank god for conventional reasons, get frustrated because I'm a Sue!) or taunt me horribly (thank god for conventional reasons, get frustrated because I'm a Sue!). He just- tell s me to do something and I do it.

I walked back to the common room in despair. What if I never make it?

_I need flames for this one!! And oc ideas! I want her to befriend a Hufflepuff girl who is willing to help her become a Mary Sue. And sorry it's short. I'm not much for wrinting lately--i've been hooked on Elfwood. And yes, i'll update my other stories, but if anyone complains about me being slow on my stories, I'll rip them to shreds! I've been in depression for a while and I'm sensitive and fragile._


End file.
